Right now I am living in a world I knew existed but, for many reasons, never thought I would get to call ‘mine’. Every day I wake up next to a husband I love and, more importantly, like very much. We are living our dream of raising American Quarter Horses. Specifically, ‘cow horses’. Trained for disciplines such as cutting, reining, roping and many other ‘cow horse’ things. And we do this from our little ranch that is tucked into what is in Ozarkian-speak called a ‘holler’. Our holler is full of deep woods, open pastures, natural springs and caves and really does make everyone (including me) want to wander around in it, over it and through it to discover its many nuances. And yes, I do know how to wield pretty much every tool necessary to stretch a fence, build a barn and train a horse. Whips, spurs and power tools included.
What we train - Their opinion of being trained
HOW DID I GET HERE
Purposeful Insanity & Being Kind of Mean to Other People
Who knows the answer to that question, really? I would like to give it a try, however, because I have, after all, led the life that got me here.
Several years ago I ended up standing on a small cliff in Greece watching the sun set over the Aegean Sea.
It was so amazing that I really did for a moment have a surreal feeling that I had unwittingly stepped into the middle of a painting by Monet.
It was also one of those horrible moments when I realized everything about me had changed while I wasn’t looking.
Just behind all of it was a crappy assed gnaw in my stomach that was asking,
What’s going to be different when you go home?
And that’s where the whole thing went right off the rails because I went home and picked up exactly where I’d left off.
Worse yet, I believed it was the most sane thing to do.
Luckily, that beautiful old quote from Socrates kept running through my head.
“Insanity, the divine release from the yoke of custom and convention.”
And I started realizing the best possible course of action consisted of going insane as quickly as possible because my particular version of ’sane’ was getting me nowhere.
And yes, going insane was
ugly
saying goodbye to corporate America
painful, crappy, scary, lonely
saying hello and goodbye to a marriage
weird, creepy
moving 3 times in 2 years
unnerving, vexing, bewildering
kind of mean to other people and bizarre…
until it got beautiful and I could write that stuff up there about ‘Where I Am Now’.
WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT
The only rules I have about posting here are: 1) It or some rendition of it actually happened 2) I thought it was funny.
Even then, I sometimes write about things that did not actually happen or that I did not think were particularly funny.
So. Uh. Fuck the rules, eh?
WHY’S & WHAT FOR’S
‘Why do you talk like that?’
’Why do you talk about political stuff so much?’
Uh…are you referring to how I’m cussing all the fucking time?
Or how I’m always saying…’Uh’?
Well…uh…probably because that’s just the way I fucking talk.
Yeah, I have an ‘inside voice’ that I’m really pretty good at using when I’m supposed to other people give me a really dirty look. But it’s not like I’m hanging around the house or with my girlfriends saying anything other than a bunch of cuss words, so why would I pretend on my blog?
And yes, another ‘bent’ I have is being obsessed with politics.
It is as simple as this: In 9th grade a history teacher gave us the project of identifying the positions of leadership in our federal government according to rank (President, Vice President, Speaker of the House, etc…) and I loved that project and it caused me to keep reading more and more about our government and our leaders
and I have not been able to stop saying,
WTF?
ever since.
Yes, I really do think books about the origins of the US Constitution that cause most people’s brains to bleed are the most interesting things ever.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE
Personally, I will do to do my level best to continue going insane. It seems to have worked pretty well so far.
And you?
You are always welcome here unless you’re a stalker
or are wearing a clown suit
or
are a stalker wearing a clown suit.
I truly enjoy writing here and you are welcome to come along for the ride.
I update regularly.
Maybe because I really am amazed by this thing called ‘My Life’.
Maybe because it shuts the fucking demons up.
Maybe just because.
Enjoy!
This was great. You make it look like poetry on the page. I especially enjoyed the pictures, too.