Live Bloggin’ During the Debate

Jim Leherer – Moderator

Someone has got to hold that SOB down and find out what his youth secret is.  Bastard hasn’t aged in something like 900 years.

McCant -

So sorry to hear Senator Ted Kennedy is in the hospital.

Me -

Whatever.  He’s home now.  Keep up Captain Aged.

McCant -

We need transparency in this financial program…

Me -

Yeah.  Just like the S&L bailout! Keating Five ringing any bells?

Leherer -

Mr. Obama.  Do you support the bailout package?

A-hole I’m voting for -

I’m optimistic we can all come together…

Me -

Did you not just see that tiny posse of conservative Republicans getting ready to cut you?

McCant -

Just before the DDay invasion at Normady…

Me -

I thought that little bandy rooster was in Viet Nam.  WTF?

Leherer – Old Queen just told Obama to speak directly to McCant.

McCant -

What?  You afraid I can’t hear him?

Me -

Oh shut up you old turd burglar.  All your little ‘I’m so old’ jokes aren’t going to take away from the fact that you ARE so old.

McCant -

Spending in Washington is out of control and earmarks are like a gateway drug for an addict.  They are the beginning of a disease of overspending.

Me -

Whatever punk.  You’ve been there for 26 years and haven’t done a damn thing about it.  And, don’t be using my disease of choice, addiction, as a way to explain that crap.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

We’ve gotta grow the economy from the bottom up!

Me -

No.  No I don’t think so.  I think somebody needs to grow a pair before they’re going to do anything about the economy.

McCant -

I was called ‘The Sherrif’ in the Senate.

Me -

Er…um…McGruff?

Oh Dr. Thunder help me.  Oh Yee-Haw-Way.  They’re both promising all kinds of lame assed crap about tax cuts.  And they are arguing about the definition of rich.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

[McCant] is proposing taxing health benefits. 

Me -

Now that’s a reason to vote for an A-hole like that.  Someone who doesn’t want to rape me any worse than the health insurance company already is.

Me -

Jim Leherer.  You big ol’ Queen.  I swear!  I’m coming over to drink your toilet water!  Or whatever it is that’s keeping you lookin’ so young!

A-Hole I’m voting for -

American families are getting crushed by health care insurance costs. 

Me -

See.  I’m tellin’ ya.  He’s just not a health care costs rapist. 

Oh Dear Yee-Haw-Way!  Look at how that red line for the Republicans who are watching/judging goes down any time anybody talks about actually using green energy.

Pathetic bastards.

McCant -

We’ve got to cut spending in defense and investigate every governmental department and make sure their budgets are on track.  I know how to do that.  I’ve been around.

Me -

Uhhh.  Sooo.  Back to that thing about 26 years and not doing shit.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

I’ve worked with one of the most conservative Republicans in the senate…

Me -

Really?  Why didn’t I know this?  Are there any pictures?  A video?

A-hole I’m voting for -

When it comes to his way of cutting budgets he uses a hatchet instead of a scalpel.

Me -

Oh shit!  Is one of these bastards a serial killer and nobody told me?

Hey.  Ben just explained that the University of Mississippi have professors who are going to let us know who, depending on the data, won this debate after it’s over.

Oh.  Wait.  That’s interesting.  And I’m glad he told me that.  But…er…um…I’m not sure if I care.

McCant -

We have got to cut spending.

Me -

WTF!  Is he capable of saying anything else?  Does he have Alzheimer’s?

A-Hole I’m voting for -

You voted with Bush 95% of the time in agreement with this ORGY of spending.

Me -

Oh hell yeah!  Now we’re gettin’ somewhere!

Oh Sweet Tap Dancin’ Jesus!  McCain just mentioned Sara The Viper Palin those little indicators of what people think just tanked!  That may very well be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life.  I may have Ben strip me down naked and have his way with me when we rewind that part later!

McCant -

The next President of the United States is going to have to address how to leave Iraq.  Not why we went.

Me -

Uh.  Yeah.  And.  How about figuring out what Rank Jenny got us there in the first place and water boarding them?  Making them strip down naked and have their photo taken with that very, seriously ugly military broad that ended up going to prison for all of that Iraqi prisoner torture stuff?

McCant -

There is social and economic progress in Iraq.

And now he’s doing that strange and bizarre Casper the Ghost thing where he smiles when he says the words ‘peace’ and ‘prosperity’…

and when he does that it always makes me get this strange feeling like there’s a freak in a clown suit looking through the window at me.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

The Taliban and Al-Queida are on the rise again because of the unwise programs that McCant has supported in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Me - 

I admit the name ‘Taliban’ has always made me think of that song ‘Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick’ and have no idea why.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

Every expert says that Al-Queida is the greatest threat against the United States.

Me -

Uh.  No.  I think they were talking about the US government.  That ‘greatest threat’ thing.  Yeah.  I think they meant our own government.

McCant -

Obama said he would perform military strikes in Pakistan.  And there are these…and you don’t say that…and it’s gonna be tough…and we have to..and the Pakistanis have to…and…

Me -

Oh Dear Yee-Haw Way!  It’s the first time in the debate that one of them have senselesslyrambled.  I really love that.  Honestly, it makes me feel right at home since that is one of my own habits.  I may end up voting for McCant if he rambles anymore.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

If the US has Bin Laden in our sites we should act to take them out no matter where they are.

Oh, yeah.  Did I remember to mention that the Old Queen Leherer said at the beginning that no one in the audience was allowed to applaud.  Huh?  Seriously? 

I love me some social unrest.  What’s up with the no applause thing?  Seriously, I want someone to jump up in the middle of everything and rip their shirt off and hold up a bizarre sign and get taken out of that place freaking out with their arms flailing and getting tazered and everything.

A-hole I’m voting for -

No US soldier ever dies in vain.

Me -

Whatever.  Going to Iraq was a load of oil chasing crap.  Why not just say it.  Is there no one with enough spine to say…US SOLDIERS HAVE DIED IN VAIN IN IRAQ.

McCant -

You would think if Obama cared about what was going on in Afghanistan and Iraq that he would have gone there himself.

Me -

Yeah.  And walked around in a bullet proof vest with something like 47 armed soldiers and declaring Iraq ’safe’ just like you did?

McCant -

Have no doubt that the Iranians continue on the path getting a nuclear weapon as we speak.  They are also sending bombs and trainers to Iraq. 

A-hole I’m voting for -

What [McCant] would do is everything in Iraq that strengthens Iran.

Me -

What?  Are they sharing Jim Leherer’s youth secret?

McCant -

I love it!  He just totally screwed up the name of the leader of Iraq.

Not that I have a fuckin’ clue how to type it or say it either.

But hey…I’m not running for President so I get to misprounounce my own damn name and it doesn’t make a shit!

A-hole I’m voting for -

Henry Kissinger is one of [McCant's] advisors and says we should meet with the Iraqis without preconditions.

Is he thinking ‘Smacknown mofo!’ with that one?

Has anyone read the book ‘The J Curve’?  I highly recommend it.  Perhaps. 

OK.  Never mind.  That’s just a bunch of that crap I read that I don’t have anyone to talk about because it’s so borning.  For others.  I happen to love it and recommend it if you have even 1% interest in being able to know when someone is full of crap when they are talking about foreign policy.

I also recommend ‘Original Meanings’ by Rakov if you’re interested in knowing how ‘keeping our country safe’ and all of that talk during the past 8 years has pretty much shredded the US Constitution.

Again…maybe just some boring crap.  Again…but I love it.

McCant -

The leaders have called Israel a stinking corpse.

Me -

Nice!  I’m going to have to use that one on the next person who gives me a bunch of crap.  No…not an Israeli.  I happen to like Israel. 

A-Hole I’m voting for -

The recent actions of the Russians mean we have to evaluate our stance on things.  You cannot be a 21st century super power and act like a 20th century dictatorship.

Me -

Oh c’mon Barry.  I grew up on being scared to death of the Russians because of fear mongering folks just like you could be if you would get with the program!  It’ll just make me feel all comfortable again.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

…loose nukes…

Me -

Is that just a nice way of saying a guy has a hair trigger?  You know, he was a really good kisser but had a loose nuke?

McCant -

The Russians need to know the United States will support the inclusion of Georgia in NATO.

Me -

Oh don’t say that!  You’ll just confuse the Ozarkians with that whole Georgia/Georgia thing again.

Does anyone know how to spell the name of the President of Georgia?

Shakashveelie?  Sounds like a new cheese.

A-hole I’m voting for -

We can’t drill our way out of the problem…

Me -

Yeah.  Well.  There is something called the past of me and most of my girlfriends that would beg to differ.  But that’s a whole different thing…sorry Barry. 

That Big Ol’ well preserved Queen Leherer just asked if they think our country is safer since 9/11.

Whatever they say.  Whatever crap they lob across that stage.  Whatever.  All I’ve got to say is, have you seen that one guy who works for TSA at LAX.  Yeah, that guy who always looks like he could pull a bologna sandwich out of his underwear at any moment because he’s crazier than Cooter Brown and has no idea where he is.

Oh nevermind.  You may not have seen him.  But I’m tellin’ ya…

 A-Hole I’m voting for -

If we’re truly going to be safer we have to focus on Al-Queida in Afghanistan and Iraq. 

Me -

Oops.  Is McCant napping?  He forgot that little point.

A-Hole I’m voting for -

We have borrowed almost a billion dollars from China…we are spending 10+ billion a month on our economy…our economy sucks…we have to get that back on track because no country without a strong economy.

Me -

Kinda like everyone in the middle class who’s getting fisted by the economy right now doesn’t have any power?  You mean like that?

 

 END: 

Leherer’s neck even looks good!  I wonder if he’s got it wrapped up in his tie somehow?

Cindy McCant just walked on stage.  Is it just me, or should she ask Leherer for his plastic surgeon’s name?  Seriously, I haven’t seen ‘work’ as bad as hers in a long time.